Christmas is the time of the year where we show appreciation to our loved ones in the form of gifts – it’s a co-opted holiday designed to appease the gift giving love language. I pride myself on my gift giving abilities, however even I struggle with purchasing presents for boyfriend. This can partly be attributed to the fact that my boyfriend purchases everything he needs and partly due to the fact that gift giving/reception is his least desired love language. Love languages are important as they are the medium in which we communicate our affection and appreciation for our partner. Both me and my partner’s love languages are words of affirmations and acts of service – this is reflective of who we are as people. Subsequently both me and my partner have tailored all our gifts to appeal to these love languages.
Tips For Giving
Act Of Service
Acts of services are defined as any act that eases the burden of responsibility for the person. If your partner cherishes acts of service, a way to appease them would be purchasing a present that you know your partner was saving for. Additionally, a gift that provides a service for (e.g. subscription to cleaning or laundry service) or a gadget that makes you partner’s life easier (e.g. massage gun or 3 in 1 charging dock) would appeal to your partner’s appreciation for acts of services.
Quality time deepens the emotional and physical bond between both individuals. If your partner’s love language is quality time, they value your undivided attention and most probably the chance to make memories together. A way to translate your partner’s desire for quality time would be gifting your partner to an experience (e.g. weekend getaway or a visit to the Winter carnival). Your partner will appreciate the intention and dedication to ensuring future quality time.
Physical touch is both sexual and non-sexual contact. It’s been scientifically proven that physical contact improves dopamine and oxytocin (happy hormones), so regardless of what social media says you and your physical touch can be the gift. A way to translate your partner’s love for physical touch would be to treat your partner to a couple’s massage or seduction/ strip tease dance class. These activities will appeal to your partner’s love of physical touch, while also building intimacy. Alternatively, you can purchase your partner’s gift card to an adult store such as Harmony, Ann Summers or LoveHoney, where they can purchase aids to facilitate physical touch.
Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation are defined as words which provide emotional support or encouragement. Consequently, individuals who have an affinity for words of affirmation value vocal validation, compliments and encouraging messages. A way to translate a partner’s appreciation for words of affirmation would be personalised pair of cufflinks or a belt engraved with an encouraging message or how much they mean to you
Happy Holidays xxx