T’is the season to be ho-ho-horny!
If you hadn’t heard that before, fasten your sleigh belts as I’m about to run you through these seasonal sex moves that will make the Angel atop your tree cover their eyes.
You won’t need cinnamon and cloves to spice things up this Christmas!
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Lap(dance)land
If bae has been especially nice this year (or even if they’ve been naughty) why not give them the gift of you. Wrap yourself in a bow, or pull out that red lingerie with the white fur trim. Whack on the slow and sensual Christmas tunes and let your sexy moves be their present. I guarantee they’ll reward you with a candy cane.
Mistlehoe
You may think back to the days where all you wanted to do was get your crush under the mistletoe at the Christmas school disco. Well now you can turn the mistletoe kisses up a notch by placing the plant over the parts of your body that you want your lover to kiss.
Elf on the Shelf
Just like the Elf who’s known for being active at night, you can use the excuse of the long winter nights to get busy with your love. With rising gas prices it’s also a great way to stay warm. Jump onto a counter or table with them standing between your thighs, get them to lift your knees up so they can really touch your North pole.
Naughty or Nice
For this you’ll need to make two lists and you can check them as many times as you like, but one has to be full of naughty options and the other nice. As you get down to unwrapping presents on Christmas day you can then decide if your partner deserves a reward or punishment for each gift. If you decide to dole out punishments remember the safe word is Sugarplum.
Under My Tree
The only place they’ll want to be is underneath your Christmas tree. Get your lover on their back as you straddle their head. If you want to make it really believable twirl some tinsel around your body and hang two baubles from your ears.
Reindeer Style
Get on all fours as your boo kneels behind you while sliding their partridge into your pear tree. To make this extra pleasurable they can simultaneously use their fingers until you🎵Come they told me pa-ra-pa-pum-pum🎶 Novelty antlers optional.
Wrapping presents
Get your partner to sit with their legs crossed, then you lower yourself onto their polar express while wrapping your legs around them. Then with your arms also wrapped around each other you can rock back and forth to some slow festive anthems.
Mrs Clause
Tell your Bad Santa to lie back as you take the reins in this power move. Straddle them while placing your hands on their chest and using the leverage to slide up and down making your thrusts as shallow or deep as you like. As Lady Gaga once provocatively sang 🎵Light me up put me on top let’s fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la🎶
Ho Ho Ho
This move calls for you to get in touch with your inner (Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and) Vixen as you straddle your lover while facing away from them. Think reverse cow girl, but you’re both wearing Santa hats after drinking copious amounts of mulled wine!
Sleigh, Girl
Although technically you’re the sleigh in this move it’s about to be the ride of your life. Lie on your front with your legs straight. They hold your legs on either side of their waist and steer you to bliss.
On the 69th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
Multiple Orgasms (while you sample their bratwurst or pretzel).
Jingle Bells
After all the running round and buying presents or attending various festive parties you may find you need to chill out this Christmas. If so you’ll be pleased to hear you get to lie back and (mostly) relax in this move. Raise your legs in the air as they slide their gift into your stocking. Then you can cross your ankles behind their head and use your hands to lazily explore their body including their jingle bells.
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Whether you decide to gift wrap it or lay your wreath bare this Christmas, these 12 moves (yes there’s one for each day of Christmas) will certainly help you two turtle doves to have a Happy Holiday!
Millennial Femme 