“Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble… “
🔥 🔥 🔥
Halloween is just around the corner and I don’t know about you but I am a fan of All Hallows Eve. As my birthday is only a few days before, my celebrations have often coincided with Halloween weekend as I do love any excuse to play dress up.
I can appreciate that when most people think of Halloween, sex may not be the first activity that comes (forgive the pun) to mind. But some scientists claim there is a bond(age) between a smidge of fear and arousal.
I mean they do have quite a bit in common, the elevated heart rate, the shortage of breath, dilated pupils and increased adrenaline coursing through your veins. And there must be a reason all the old horrors included couples going to watch a scary movie together on a date. Who doesn’t want an excuse to cling that little bit tighter when cuddling up with bae?
🧟♀️ 🧟♀️ 🧟♀️
So if you’ve found yourself feeling a little bit frisky when you’ve been frighted, or your terror has turned you on or you’ve felt horrifed and horny at the same time, I have some news. You can try some Halloween themed sex positions to help you make the most of the extra fright this night brings.
Don’t believe me? Well read on for a few suggested ‘treats’ if you want to get your ‘trick’ on this October!
“By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked(ly sexy) this way comes…”
🧛🏽 🧛🏾♀️ 🧛🏿
Whoever is doing the penetrating may want to do a few preparatory glute bridges before attempting this move. The pentrator lies with their back and shoulders on the bed (or sofa, or car bonnet) with their bum over the edge and feet planted on the floor. The penetratee then gets on top while facing away from their partner. Mix it up by either kneeling on the bed (sofa / car) or placing your feet on the floor. And move according to however the spirit takes you, you can even try spelling out hauntingly fun words like BOO with your hips. If you’re feeling even more adventurous why not give yourself a head rush and lean forward until your hands touch the floor.
👻 👻 👻
We all know midnight is the witching hour, and things are always much scarier in the dark, Wait until your lover falls to sleep, glide under the sheets…and use your hands and/or mouth to bring your lover back to life.
🪦 🪦 🪦
The Tangled Spider
For those who are fans of missionary this could be just the move for you. Get into the missionary position and whoever is bottoming should bend their knees and lift their hips. The great thing about this position is it also doubles as an ab and booty workout. And if you’re blessed enough to have a clitoris this position encourages more contact (i.e. stimulation) for you!
🕷 🕷 🕷
Bobbing for Boobs
I’ve never actually played the game bobbing for apples but if you’ve ever watched an American TV programme that features a Halloween party then you’ll probably have seen that the person playing is blindfolded while attempting to catch an apple using only their mouth. Well this move would work well in a bath or in a hot tub. So strip off, blindfold your partner and jump in. Then get them to kneel beside your chosen body of water. The object of the game, as you’ve probably guessed, is for them to keep bobbing until they catch your boobs. If you’re in a partnership that involves a penis (or two) you can switch roles and let your man tie your hands behind your back and blindfold you as you bob for his apples. And once you catch his prize in your mouth the real fun can begin.
🍎 🍎 🍎
Riding the Broom aka The Witch
This move means the penetrator represents the broom and gets to lie back (for the most part) and enjoy the view which I’m sure they’ll love. Firstly you need to line up two chairs so they can lie with their head and shoulders across one chair and their calves and feet placed on the second chair so that their torso, hips and thighs are hovering above the ground. If you don’t have chairs that will work, the same effect can also be achieved in the crab position. The penetratee then hops on top (cowgirl style) and proceeds to ride their human Firebolt with flair by taking their feet off the ground, although you may want to give your lover a break every once in a while by putting your feet down.
In this version it’s the penetratee’s turn to become the broom. You can use a stool, a desk or even the kitchen sideboard. Put down a cushion if you’d like a little extra comfort and facing forwards lie the upper part of your body on top of the stool / desk / sideboard. Your partner then grabs your legs and straightens them to be positioned on either side of their hips so from the side it looks as though they’re riding you like a Nimbus 2000.
🧹 🧹 🧹
The Spine Tingler
Another position where you get to lay on your back (don’t you just love those). In this move your lover lifts your legs into the air forcing you into a reverse crunch. Might as well work those abs while you WERK IT! Next your partner slides inside penetrating you deeply. This angle means they have access to your G-spot and will for sure send an avalanche of chills down your spine in more ways than one. This position also works on the side with your legs spread wide and your partner leaning on their forearms.
🦴 🦴 🦴
The Pumpkin Spice
No this isn’t just a drink from Starbucks, in this move the penetratee gets to take control. Step 1, push your partner onto their back, you get to decide how rough or gently you want to do this. Step 2, straddle them. Step 3, stretch your legs out on either side of them, so your feet are aimed towards their head. Step 4, grab their shoulders. Step 5, now you both rock back and forth until your pumpkin pops!
🎃 🎃 🎃
Silence of the Lambs
If you’re into kink then this move is definitely for you, and if you’re really delicious your lover won’t be able to stop themselves from eating you this Halloween. But back to the position…if you’ve never seen the film one of the main characters Dr Hannibal Lecter is a brilliant psychiatrist but is also a cannibalistic serial killer who is locked up in a hospital for the criminally insane. With that in mind, this move requires one partner to be tied and/or handcuffed, with their arms crossed, to a chair and/or bed, while also being gagged (if you’re really open). If you decide to use the gagging option remember to make sure that you communicate continuously throughout and establish a clear signal beforehand so either you/your partner can let the other know if you/they are distressed. Once bound, with your safety signal agreed upon, you/your partner can have some fun, teasing, groping, nibbling, sucking, prodding and/or tickling to drive your partner into a frenzy of insanity.
🐑 🐑 🐑
Like all devilish women I’ve saved the absolute naughtiest for last. For this one you’ll need either a pull up bar or an over the door harness or even a really secure shower pole. Now stay with me…for this move either you or your partner (essentially whoever is the most daring and unlikely to faint from getting a head rush) will need to hang upside down. Yes I typed that correctly. I told you it was naughty! Once you or your partner is hanging comfortably (and stably) the other positions themselves so each person is mouth to crotch. Once you’re lined up it’s time to get your suspended sixty-nine on!
🦇 🦇 🦇
If you’ve never before considered the link between All Hallows Eve and getting your freak on, let 2021 be your year. Whether you decide to try spooky sex or stick to more traditional positions I hope you have a positively haunting Halloween that keeps you screaming, hollering, squealing, howling, shrieking and moaning all the way through All Saints Day!
😈 😈 😈