Of lately, I’ve spread myself a little bit too thin; with various projects, jobs and outings taking place, I haven’t had time to reflect and invest time in me.
Due to my fear of missing out, I always say yes! But I really want to scream NO!, from every fibre in my heart, head, and soul. I want to chill, sit this one out and vegetate but I yearn to be part of a motive, an opportunity- though kindly remember: all opportunities are NOT good opportunities.
So, as I write this blog, I want us to practice the art of saying NO! NO doesn’t have to be a negative connotation, nor need to follow with an explanation. Saying NO! can be a complete sentence. Period. Saying the word, NO! can be a tool and protection for exercising your self-worth and sanity. The wordNO! has two faces – one, we can create boundaries with others and ourselves and one that helps sustain our dignity and truth.
The word NO can be your power word that can ease the stress that may come your way:
Some examples
Boss: Can you stay late and do this extra bit of work for me? NO!
Someone, you’re not interested in: Let’s go out for dinner? NO!
Phone call after 11 pm: I know it’s late, are you free to talk? NO!
Friend: Don’t want to stay in tonight, let’s go out? NO!
Boy: Come on, just the tip? NO! (Can I just add, that’s sexual assault)
All these examples indicates that you’re not in the mood at that specific time. It’s better not to force an outing or a situation as it may not be beneficial for you!
As I get older, I’m starting to appreciate my own company and cherish the idea of setting boundaries with myself and others.
As many articles states: NO! allows you to gain more control over your own life. Saying No! enriches our personal development and stops all the potential bullsh*t from happening.
So, why do we have such a hard time saying the word NO! well, I believe it’s because we are raised to be polite and saying the yes places a comforting feeling within ourselves; however, it can also backfire if we genuinely do not want to do it.
So, here are some reasons why you should say the word NO! more often:
- Trust in your feelings:
If you’re not feeling it, then say NO! Again, the word is a full complete sentence with no explanation or excuse needed… However, it’s also good to note that saying NO! in the correct context should also be applied, to duties at work, at home or with our health. It’s essential always to trust your feelings, intuition, and voice.
More time for what you love: The power of saying NO! gives you more time to concentrate on things you rather do and drop the activities you feel like you’re genuinely not interested in. Time is precious, so making sure you only dedicate yourself to projects, events or motives that may genuinely benefit you is a blessing.
- Yes! Can also be your best friend:
As you begin to say NO! after being the honorary Yes girl, the meaning and value of your yeses go all the way up. Saying the word Yes, will mean a lot more and will no longer be a passive and unmeaningful response.
- Setting Boundaries:
As you start saying NO! more, you can set healthy boundaries with yourself and with others. People tend to take the piss if you’re known as the Yes Woman or a people-pleaser (guilty), but as soon as you start saying NO!, people tend to understand where a line is drawn after you set this boundary and restructured your position in your relationship. (AN IMPORTANT THING TO NOTE: If your ‘friend’ gets upset when hearing the word, NO!, it’s time for you to rethink your relationship)
Setting healthy boundaries with yourself is also a necessary tool to obtain, as it can limit the amount of procrastination you do daily. For example, hitting the snooze on your alarm or anything that feels that doesn’t align with your greater good – ‘saying yes to your ex’ smh! Saying NO! can protect you from future disappointments from momentary satisfaction. Standing up for yourself with yourself is truly, one of the most outstanding examples of discipline and restraint.
Remember, as I wrote this blog, I’m still on my newfound journey of permanently having the word NO! attached to my mouth and vocabulary, but now that I know the value of the word NO! it will be a lot easier to say.
And so it should be!
Millennial Femme 