As I’m sure you’re aware the 14th of February is just a few short weeks away.
Now it’s confession time, Valentines Day is my least favourite greetings card trap, my response to the holiday of lurve has generally been ‘Bah Humbug’! (Or whatever the Valentines Day equivalent phrase would be.)
But this year, I’m actually sort of looking forward to it, perhaps because at the moment there’s so little to look forward to, any holiday will do (did anyone else celebrate the 21st minute of the 21st hour of the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century?)
Being a perpetually single girl, and in the midst of yet another lock down, where the only person allowed within 2 feet of my door is the Amazon delivery guy, I sadly don’t have the luxury of locking down a Valentines Day date to make my toes curl this February.
So I’ve been making plans to seduce myself.
We talk a lot about self love from the perspective of being our own biggest champion. Truly appreciating and accepting ourselves and caring about ourselves enough to prioritise our own needs. But we don’t often talk about self love from the perspective of fully embracing our sensuality, especially independently of a partner.
So this Valentines Day, whether you’re riding solo or boo’d up why don’t you join me and set an intention to woo yourself, by following my 10 steps to self seduction.
Step 1
Treat yourself to some flowers. When’s the last time you bought yourself something that wasn’t a necessity? And who made it a rule that flowers are something we buy for others or only receive from others? It just so happens that roses are my second favourite type of flora but if you think red roses are overrated or too commercialised or just a waste of plant life you could treat yourself to a balloon bouquet instead or choose another token of self appreciation.
Step 2
Indulge in your favourite foods. Whether you finally decide to cook that delicious recipe you’ve been meaning to try or order from your favourite restaurant or takeaway I definitely recommend tantalising your taste buds with something delicious.
While your dinner is slowly simmering on the stove or being biked over to you in a deliveroo box, follow me to…
Step 3
To paraphrase Shakespeare:
“If music be the food of (self) love, play on.”
That’s right it’s time to press play on that baby makin’ music playlist. If you don’t already have a playlist filled with sensual songs then now is the time to create one (you have two weeks). R’n’B is essentially a collection of sexy songs. All of the best R’n’B crooners have a minimum of 10 songs to bump n grind to. Think The Isley Brothers, Marvin Gaye, Joe, Tyrese or even Mr Steal Yo Girl himself (aka Trey Songz for the uninitiated).
Step 4
Now you’re being smoothly serenaded by your favourite artists, it’s time to luxuriate in a bath filled to the brim with bubbles. If ever there was a time to splash the expensive bubble bath you received in your Christmas gift set then now is it! Go wild, throw in a bath bomb and your best essential oils too. Once your bath is full and foamy, slip out of your clothes and slide into aromatherapy heaven.
Step 5
At this point, the warm water and bubbles should have eased your aches and pains away. So show your skin some appreciation and love by taking the time to worship the body that does so much for you, with a self massage. Grab your favourite moisturiser (it will always be cocoa butter for me) and while you caress your chosen lotion into your skin take this opportunity to really look into the mirror and compliment yourself. We expect our lovers to woo us with words, so why not spend some time telling You the things you love or at the very least appreciate about yourself.
Step 6
It’s time to get dressed for your date with You. Put on whatever makes you sing 🎵I’m feelin’ sexyyyyy 🎶 as Queen Bey sang many moons ago. Does barely there lingerie tempt your inner Goddess to come out and play? Perhaps that silky nightie you treated yourself to but thought you’d never wear makes your inner sex kitten purr. Maybe it’s a t-shirt and those high waisted jeans that make your 🍑 look POW! Or is it wearing those stilettos’ and nothing else that unleashes your inner siren? Whatever outfit it is, or isn’t, make sure you’re “Feeling Yourself” for these final few steps.
Step 7
Make your way back to the kitchen, by now the aroma from your dinner should be making you salivate in anticipation. However before you grab the knife and fork, I want you to pour yourself a drank. You only need one or two, we’re aiming for relaxed and raunchy not bladdered and bloated. You could google seductive cocktail recipes to spice up your night. Or if you prefer something classic, you can’t go wrong with a full bodied red. Of course a glass of something sparkling may be just what you need to help you feel fizzy.
Step 8
It’s time to turn up the heat and turn the lights down low. I don’t know whether you’ve noticed but we’ve been titillating our senses all evening, so let’s not stop now. Ignite your favourite scented candles, or if you want to try some scents that stimulate your sexual senses then look for either, Jasmine, Rose, Vanilla or Peony. All of these floral fragrances have been proven to set passions afire.
Step 9
I’m hoping you’re all nicely warmed up as we’re just getting to the good stuff. The best part of any evening, is the entertainment. And when it’s erotically themed it’s even better. Perhaps good old fashioned porn is your poison. Or maybe Zane’s stories stir your imagination as well as your loins. Personally, I’m planning to re-watch Bridgerton! (Did anyone else get all hot and bothered during that scene in the library?)
Step 10
Now you’ve selected your arousing material, we’re almost at the climax (figuratively and literally). No solo sexpedition would be complete without a Toy. Or indeed a range of toys. Female empowerment has been on the agenda for a while, and that includes empowering ourselves to fully embrace our pleasure. With so much choice between, bullets, clitoral vibrators, rabbits, dildos, wands and even toys that simulate oral. The only question you need to answer is. What’s your weapon of choice?
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Millennial Femme 